Jupiter: Beyond the Infinite
by Hawki
Summary: Oneshot: There's a reason why Guardians never go to Jupiter...


_Lord of worlds, massive Jupiter and its moons must have been a cornerstone of Golden Age civilization. But the nature and extent of human presence there is now unknown. Old records refer to cities in ice and world-spanning oceans, but perhaps this is only poetry. The City's ships have rarely attempted any journey to Jupiter or beyond._

Grimoire entry

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><p><strong>Jupiter: Beyond the Infinite<strong>

"But Artemis, you can't go to Jupiter! No-one's been to Jupiter since the Collapse!"

"Exactly. That's why I want to go."

"But…but…"

Artemis stuffed Sparky inside the trunk, the Ghost's muffled cries barely reaching the interior of her jumpship. It had been prior to the Golden Age that in space, no-one could hear you scream.

"You…go…upiter!"

Sparky was close to proving them wrong.

The Awoken leant forward and began imputing the coordinates for the solar system's largest planet. Sparky had been telling the truth in that no Guardian had ever gone to Jupiter before. As far as she could tell, there'd never been any attempted mission before either – certainly none sanctioned by the Vanguard at least.

**Coordinates imputed. Begin drive sequence?**

Artemis hit the "Y" key.

"No!" Sparky yelled.

Artemis ignored him. No Guardian had gone to Jupiter. With the likes of Mars, Venus, and Earth itself in alien hands, she could sympathize.

"No! Not Jupiter!"

But in addition to the saying that in space, no-one could hear you scream (a saying that Sparky seemed determined to prove false), there was another saying that heralded from a pre-Golden Age era – that "space was there, and we (whoever "we" was) are going to climb it. How one could climb space, Artemis didn't know.

**Drive sequence beginning in three…two…**

Sparky burst out of the trunk. "We can't-"

**Engaged.**

"…nevermind."

And the ship shot forward. She didn't know how to climb space, but did know how to give the finger to Einstein in terms of relativity…whoever Einstein was.

"Engaged. Ugh."

Artemis looked at Sparky, who appeared resigned to the travel.

"Engage," he repeated dourly. "The Traveller preferred TOS y'know."

"What?"

"Nevermind."

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><p>"My god, it's full of stars."<p>

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing."

Sparky was uneasy, Artemis could tell that much. His eye was much the same as ever, but his voice, the way he floated…

_Screw it. I'm at Jupiter._

Jupiter. The solar system's largest planet. Named after the king of the gods from one of Earth's ancient mythologies. Standing there in all its red, gaseous glory.

_How come Venus is the only planet named after a woman?_

Artemis kept staring at the thing, throwing the random thought aside.

_Bloody sexists._

And stared. And stared. And-

"Y'know, I don't see any stars Sparky."

"Yeah, yeah," the Ghost said. "I…"

"Sparky?"

She looked over her shoulder. The Ghost was twitching.

"You okay?"

"All…all…all…"

"Sparky?"

Artemis glanced back out the cockpit – there still weren't any stars, there was still only Jupiter. It had lost its chance at being a star long ago.

"All…"

"Sparky!" She grabbed him, shaking her companion violently. "Snap out of it."

"All of these worlds are yours except Europa. Attempt no landing there."

"…the hell?"

And then the Ghost blinked. Or rather his eyelight flickered on and off, but Artemis considered that the floating soccer ball's form of blinking anyway. And unlike a good game of soccer at the Tower, Sparky seemed to have no idea about following rules.

"You okay?"

The Ghost twitched again. "I…think so. It just…felt something. Some unseen force."

"Please Sparky, we deal with unseen forces every Tuesday."

"Yeah, but…it felt like…the Traveller…"

"Oh. Any idea why he doesn't want me on Europa?"

"I…" The Ghost drifted up to the cockpit, looking out over Jupiter. "What did I say about Europa?"

"That all these worlds are mine except Europa, and I'm to attempt no landing there."

"Oh." The Ghost looked back at her. "So what now?"

"We land on Europa."

"**What?!"**

Artemis got into her pilot's seat, accessing the navigation computer. A diagram of the Jovian system popped up, along with a list on the side. Tracing her finger over the terminal, the Guardian went through them.

"Io…Ganymede…Calisto…"

"Artemis…if the Traveller says to not go to Europa…we probably shouldn't go to Europa…"

"Oh come on," Artemis said. "If some giant floating thing tells you not to go somewhere, it's obvious that you're going to go there anyway."

"What about a giant rectangular thing?"

"Um, yeah, I guess," she said. "Why…oh."

She looked up, following Sparky's gaze. Some…_thing_…was rising up in the space before them. A large thing. A black thing. A rectangular thing.

"What is that thing?" she asked.

"It's a big black rectangular thing," Sparky answered.

_No shit._

The thing hovered there, obscuring her view of Jupiter. The thing in all its rectangular, black, large…thingness. Artemis gulped – it was funny what fear did to one's vocabulary.

"It's turning," Sparky said.

Artemis wanted to berate the Ghost for stating the obvious, but couldn't bring herself to do so. Because the thing _was _turning, and she was too caught up in the moment to nitpick. Slowly, but surely. Revealing itself. Revealing itself as a giant rectangular…

"Is that a DVD case?"

It was. It was a giant DVD case. What a giant DVD case was doing out here in space, Artemis didn't know. Not to mention that she thought DVD's had gone the same way as VHS. After all, the Tower had its own version of Netflix.

"It's…so…beautiful…" Sparky whispered.

But she remained silent. Because the title was revealing itself. And-

"No."

Fully revealing itself.

"No."

Revealing itself in all its brain-draining monotony.

"No!" Artemis screamed. "Not that! Anything but that!"

Revealing itself via its title as it came into full view.

_**2001: A Space Odyssey**_

And Artemis screamed. And wept. Began searching in her terminal for any other Kubrick movie.

And finally understood why Guardians never came to Jupiter.


End file.
